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Old Oct 18, 2012, 09:24 PM
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BrokenNBeautiful BrokenNBeautiful is offline
Mental Wellness Mensch
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes.
Posts: 3,439
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoez View Post
mostly emotional.
sometmes i dont want to tell my T or anybody anymore...I feel like they will lock me up...throw me in a hospital for being so hurt....the more I tell my T about how I feel the more she brings up hospitals...
it makes me want to go back to pretending im ok and not be honest.
I cant trust.
I identify with wanting to be dishonest. I am tired of telling ppl that I hurt and them almost automatically acting like I need to be either in a hospital, on meds, or under someone's care.

SA hurts. It really does. Emotional abuse hurts, too. A lot.

The echoes from my own perps are very strong right now and I still feel crazy and act out sometimes. But I don't bring it up anymore, either because of this "mental" stuff that ppl seem to bring up every time I am upset. Esp when I am feeling my PTSD or triggered.

We are not insane. What happened to us was. We are okay.

It's hard to believe though, when we are "programmed" this way.

Broken
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!