I am impulsive. I have no idea how many times or who I would have married if there was no legal age. I look back and am so glad I had something stopping me. Things are so perfect, they are so right. Then reality sets in. I got married a year and a half ago to someone I met on the internet, ( we'll call him X) who moved in with me a month later and married a mere 5 months after we met. I was seeing 2 people at the time X moved in with me. It was draining me b/c they didn't know about one another, and I had to spend time with both. I was seeing someone when I met X online that night. X lived 3 hours away. I was safe until he stayed with me and I had to worry about where I was and what I did with the other guy. One night X found a poem I had written about my situation. I had to choose. I came clean to them both and they both forgave me & wanted me back!!! I had to make a hasty choice and I chose X, the one who lived with me at the time. I thought I had made the wrong decision for a little while but got over it.

Now I am married and everything that I fell in love with is gone. He stopped having sex with me. I would try and I got tired of the rejection. Now it has been so long I don't even want sex anymore. I feel like he doesn't listen to me. He doesn't help me w/ anything here at the house. He demands to know where the money went that I made at work, yet he doesn't have to tell me where his went. He accuses me of cheating b/c I have that past. I accuse him of the same b/c of his lost sexual interest in me. He does some things for me, but he is mainly just lazy, disrespective, unresponsive etc etc. When we argue about things it always comes back to the same thing. I am the one who is wrong. I am the selfish one. I am the one who messed everything up. Why is it always my fault? I used to do everything in the world for him and picking up his laundry from the floor is a terrible thing to ask, as far as he is concerned. "I do anything you ask" he says. Yeah well after I hear the loud sigh and after 3 days or never b/c I did it myself. I am unhappy and the person he was is no longer. Sure I have changed too, I stopped trying. I cannot pay the bills on my own, so I cannot kick him out, he seems to think I would be the one to leave anyway even tho everything is in MY name (car, utilities, etc.) and he does nothing but deposit paychecks.

What am I supposed to do?

<font color=purple>The room is small, the room is bright - Her eyes are black, the bed is white</font color=purple>