thanks Faith. My "baby" will come home because DHS childrens services can only keep them until he reaches 18 and graduated high school. then they give them the boot so to seak so I am living for the day my child comes home. so physically he wont be home until like your baby when he is 18.

but mentally -

me too not a day or minute goes by without my child on my mind. some days I wake up and spend the day daydreaming my child and I are biking or going to the local petting zoo, watching him throw his frisbee. and so on. some days my friends will call and say how was your day and I say (sons name) and I went to TCBY, or the petting zoo or biking and so on. DHS may have to have my child in foster care and residentail treatment centers but they can never take him away from me because in my mind he will always be here with me. and some day he will also be her physically.

I know dangerious thinking process for someone who is DID and has a brain that takes traumatic memories apart and stores them in the unconscious level to be acted out when encountering triggers. But the way I see it I already went through a period of 6 moths where I could not remember I had a child let alone what him and I did together. when people would ask me about him I would either say "what?" or Who?" or bluff that I knew what they were talking about. so if my brain is going to create an alter from my memories of my child it probably has already happened since there are still some things my friends know about my child and me that I don't remember. so it can't hurt anything now with me living in my day dreams of biking and so on with my child.