Thank you Petunia & One and Many..

This thread is helping me to realize how much of a conflict I have going on right now...its like my Therapist told me I have the brake smashed down and the gas pedal too..my body is running the show and my mind isnt.

Phooey...my Therapy team is counting on my analytical nature to assist me as this evolves..but for heaven's sake..whoa..

I can see where the IOP event kinda started the ball rolling with this..my personal history..does not bode well for acute interventions..the one thing that they do is try to calm and contain..and with me..they just need to allow me to isolate..and work it thru and not approach otherwise I lash out .. not at them but whatever it is that I am perceiving..ppl kinda loose there place when this happens..I dont recognize help I just feel threatened and hurt..and they become threatening objects..

I have created quite a conflict with this struggle..but I am learning from it..which hopefully will help down the road..my poor therapy team..there going to need therapists by the time this is over..I am thankful for them..and the support here...I know this kinda sounds kookey..but its like being a sane crazy person..and currently just leaning toward the latter part of that statement..

Thanks for letting me vent..just a little off..but it will be ok..