I've never been treated for depression I just figured it was some thing I can fix myself and I had fear of how a antidepressant might effect me this past year some things changed in my mood I find it hard to concentrate I'm having mood swings as I'm typing my doctors office returned my call they said I won't be able to see him until Wednesday at 4 pm she told me to call the mental health number on the back of my insurance card I have cigna care plus but I don't think they start to cover until I've met a deductible the more I research and examine myself I feel worse because I'm coming to terms that I need to seek treatment and start taking a antidepressant the part of coming to terms that upsets me the most is knowing I'm not in control of my emotion currently typing during a mood swing of depressing I told my uncle that I need to see my doctor and explain what's going on and ask about antidepressants I walked away to call my doctor and was on hold peeked around the corner and noticed my uncle crying this made me more afraid why is he crying are things worse than I realize it just made me feel worse he mentioned that I should ask my doctor about Prozac and that I shouldn't take Paxil for some reason so here I am most likely my mood will change and I'll be better at some point today but why is it when this hits me it feels like a family member is very ill or passed away then it subsides I'm not happy but if feels like I regain my rational and then I worry my insurance has been fighting me on almost every medical claim how am I going to seek treatment and battle cigna when I'm not myself right now I feel extremely tired and I just want to sleep because my minds at rest and I don't have to think about all of this aka lazy small attempt at humor there so I'm going to sleep and check back here later for feedback