Fuzzy, my "dear bear", I used to make assumptions just about everything and everybody, but I have forced some discipline within myself, not to do that, not saying I never make assumptions, it happens
By working on making less, has relieved me of the overpowering stress and hurt that can come from this.
I am not completely free of this, but try more each day to give benefit(s) of the doubt to others and things, not hiding from it, but kind of dismissing it.
No one is perfect, that we all know, and we also should not try to be, just another stress evolves from this.
Did I just get off of track and strayed away from your post? I am sorry, you know me by now, ha!ha!
Don't climb into the hole you speak of, don't let it win and take you away, you have had good reason for assumptions due to all you have endured in life, my good friend.
Some assumptions and gut feelings can be accurate, but we all have to try to hold a balance, otherwise we can become overly mistrusting of people, I had a doctor once tell me that it isn't healthy and can wreak misery with our relationships, with ourselves and others.
I hope what I just wrote makes some sense and helps.
Whatever, please know that I care for you and consider you one of my dear friends

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON