Everything is just falling apart! Feel like giving up... but we can't...


We love our son, but his behaviour makes it really hard to feel happiness together as a family. Our son started school this week... what an ordeal! Screaming, kicking, hitting, crying... Ran away from my hubby several time to go inside again in the morning... I had to sit on the floor holding my son in a firm way, him not to run into his room or into the kitchen. If he'd done that... I would never have gotten him out of there. I sat there with him hitting me, calling me names, all sweaty, furious, crying, screaming on top of his lunges. My hubby had to take our daughter to school... This is soooooo not good for her! When my hubby got home, we tried to get the shoes and jacket on our son- didn't work. I said to my hubby: He's going to school, if so only if there's just 2 minutes left of school time. Otherwise he'll think we don't mean buisiness and he'll do this over and over again. The neighbours had already been standing on their balcony starring before, so I told my hubby to go get the car and park it right in front of the door of the building. Then he carried our son over his shoulder, I took the shoes and jacket. My hubby couldn't get the seat belt on... our son tried to escape. I had to come and do it... We drove to school... parked the car outside and I realized that we couldn't get him to go inside school. So I got inside and knocked at the class room door to fetch his teacher. She had to come up to the car to try making him calm down and came with her into school. At first he just was growling and looking the other way. Then his teacher started talking about Super Mario and our son to go inside to draw a picture of Mario to show his friends. Finally I got his shoes on him and all four of us walked inside. He drew a picture and a nameplate after some talking... The nameplate was in the shape of a turtle... but it didn't look angry as the Super Mario turtles, he said. So I made the eyes black and drew some teeth on its mouth...


Then today... hubby was taking the kids to go grocery shopping... came home earlier than he should. The kids had behaved in such a bad way that he just could do what he was supposed to do. The came home without food and stuff.


My hubby looked awful... He lied down on our bed, pressed his face against the pillow and started to cry sooo hard. I felt so helpless! I lied myself down beside and stroked his back, talking to him very calmly. I tried to talk to the kids... about what had happened. Then our son sat on the bed... saying: You're not worth anything! You're ugly! Go back to your "old family"! I hate you! I will murder you! And he hit my hubby on his rear...


I took our son and tried to calm him down- no response. I called my parents and my dad came and now, our son and his grandfather is out together somewhere...

We do the things we're supposed to do, by contacting the different persons who are the one's to help with this kind of thing. But! They just don't get it! We need help NOW!
I met this persons specialized in working with persons who has got Asperger... I only happened to meet her and I kind of wondered... why I didn't get to see her for all these weeks I've been confused about my own dx... I was to see her and my counselor today. This person she almost started to cry when she understood our family situation. She said that we need much more help and that the other persons who is supposed to help us don't have clue about how bad things are. They just can't see it and they are lacking in knowledge about Asperger. She will help us! I really felt her compassion along with her power to actually act to help us.

I feel my sons pain and anxiety and it HURTS!
My daughter... she's not feeling good because of all this. I love them so much.... I feel so helpless!

Thank you, for letting me vent!