Disconnected. While I objectively see all the things I should be doing to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly, subjectivelly I just don't care. I can't make myself leave the mind prison. I lack feelings. While on meds, I at least have the energy to go through the motions, even though everything seems pointless. But that's just about it. I should find a new job but I feel so terrified and certain that they will laugh at my application, that everyone will dismiss me that I don't send anything in. I know I have emotions but I don't feel them (apart from anxiety). I'm simply counting the days 'till I die (a natural death).