I am sorry that you feel so much pain that you felt you had to do something to relieve it since you have been ok in stopping with your other sh actions.

I know when stress gets really high in my life...my stomach hurts so bad & feels so sick that I can't even get myself to eat or drink......& when that stress extends on for a long while (several months or more)......I usually end up loosing too much weight because of being just at the safe point in the first place....it doesn't provide any room for dealing with stress.

I think most of all you need to talk to your T about what was/is causing you to feel that need to purge....or do whatever to yourself to take the pain away.....that is really the topic you need to work on with your T.

The real fact is that ED's are never just ED's in the first place....there are usually serious things in our past that have caused the issues that take us to the place of needing to control something & eating is usually the easiest thing to control & usually the ONLY thing we can control in our life. Studies have shown that people who have come from abusive childhoods are the ones most likely to end up with ED's. ED treatment goes much deeper than just treating the ED if it's to really be helped.

The fact that you were unable to make your self throw up....is definitely a good thing. The fact that you have sh tendencies....is definitely something you need to work on in T & is a very important issue to deal with.