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Old Oct 19, 2012, 06:41 PM
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BrokenNBeautiful BrokenNBeautiful is offline
Mental Wellness Mensch
 
Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MDDBPDPTSD View Post
Thank you all for your help and responses. The one I hurt was not a human, but a canine. i guess I should have said that.
Now that she is better, it doesn't seem like such a BIG deal, but I am still feeling guilty. I gave her a bath and then put on flea medication. I guess I must have got the flea meds in her eye, because a few hours later, one of her eyes was swelled shut. I freaked out! i thought I had maybe blinded her.

I had some saline in the house and washed her eye out for a good while. She seems better now. Her eye is open again and I know she can see out of it, because I covered her unaffected eye and she followed my finger with her other eye.

She is going to be OK. I just hate it that she suffered because of my mistake. I was trying to help her, but instead I hurt her. I HATE that she felt pain because of me. I HATE that she can't understand that I did not mean to hurt her. All she knows is that the one she trusts more than anyone did hurt her. How confusing that must be for her.

I have done my best to communicate to her that I love her and I am sorry. I have no idea if she understands that or not.

But the important thing is that her eye is better and she is healing.

I hope that if she felt betrayed or abused, that she will heal from that too. She is such a sweet little girl who has comforted me many times.

I am going to have trouble forgiving myself for this, but maybe, with your suggestions, it won't be one of those things I hold over my head for the rest of my life.
This reminds me of when Bruce has to take the cat to the vet. Every time he has to capture her, she doesn't trust him for a while. But she does get over it. It does break his heart.

I know he's not a bad man. And the cat knows, too. It's just traumatic for her.

You are not bad and I forgive you. I know you did not mean to hurt her.

I am sorry again that you both went thru this trauma.

Carol
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!
Thanks for this!
MDDBPDPTSD