Yeh, good one B "that *will* change how others relate to me."

People may expect us to be happy...
we then may not get the reassurance (whether positive or negative) we are used to (it appears as validation --hey, any is better than none right?)

When I was a kid and happy I got nothing, but when I was a kid and miserable I got yelled at: "smarten up", "knock it off", "what the hell is wrong with you?" Which was something (attention, negative reinforcement, etc.). This type of conditioning works with kids and animals, which tells me it's something developmental. No wonder we can only validate our negative feelings. When we feel good it's foreign to us. (I then go off on a tangent in my head: am I bipolar? am I manic? wait, no...I think I'm just...good? no, that couldn't be it).

^ Something else B mentioned works with this: "I was not shown how to give myself good feelings." And my good feelings when I had them were not received with positive reinforcement either. I can't reinforce them myself, I don't know how. It isn't part of my mental vocabulary...