Thanks for the responses, guys. I guess I don't really have any choice but to keep going. I have to look at what's required for Acting again, but as I recall, I'm only in one class (English Composition 102) that's applicable to acting. I also feel, it's better to be overeducated than undereducated. I'm nervous and my stomach is in knots, though. I listen to the teachers, but sometimes what they say doesn't "stick." I'm supposed to understand some stuff about Adobe Illustrator, for instance, but I really don't know what I'm doing in it. I can only do homework that requires Adobe products at college, since I don't have them myself. Problem is, I'm usually in a class when the computer labs are free. There are exceptions, of course, like today (Saturday), there is one lab open for a few hours, and I'm going in.

We're required to use at least one library book for our thesis papers in English. I don't even know what my paper's going to be about! I read the stories, and I have to re-read them (the professor said we should read them two or three times), but I don't remember what I'm supposed to do. I've been looking at some online examples, but I'm still confused.

I already do a lot of exposure therapy. Going to college is exposure therapy for me, but it's not getting easier. Actually, it's the opposite. I've improved significantly in the past year, which is why I decided to go to college, but I think I've jumped in too soon.

What I'm most concerned about is hurting my reputation with the school, not getting the same amount of financial aid for next season if I quit, and having to pay back money I don't have. I'm not very smart, and I show it by getting all gung-ho about something and jumping right into it, and then I'm (bleeped).

I honestly don't know if there are campus therapists. It's a community college. But I'll take a look on the college site and see what I can find out.

Shinkikker, yes, I'm seeing a psychiatrist, who I've been with for a few years now. He's got me on several meds, for panic disorder, OCD, depression and ADD. I'm actually addicted to the Xanax; my pdoc said he feels it's better to be "a little bit addicted" to a med if it helps you than to not be on it at all, because anxiety and stress can lead to heart disease. This is another topic, but frankly, I'm not at all happy about being addicted to a med.

Costello, I'm embarrassed to wear gloves, although I force myself in art class when we work with charcoal. But I have an excuse for that, because charcoal is messy and a book I read recommended using gloves. As for my reputation, my advisor told me if I dropped out, I wouldn't be "in good standing" with the college.