You did it the way that most people I know do it ...

I think it sounds like you have some beautiful things going on.

But why is it only a 'few' times you come together?

I dunno, the relationships I have had ... breaking up has been more about not 'fitting' together right at the time ... I always somehow hoped there would be 'more' than that.

I am so sure I will get married. But whether that is before or after having children in a relationship ... I don't know.

I think views on marriage as a lifetime commitment are changing too. The divorce rate is approx 1/3? I can't remember the exact figure. The way I have seen it explained is ... people are coming to treat marriage as NOT a lifetime commitment, but a commitment to the person you are with *at that time*. Being divorced isn't so dire. You might have two or three actual serious relationships in your lifetime. Whether you marry any of them or all of them is not so important.

I think it is a reflection of the instability of society ... the uncertainty ... the pressures that the Internet can put on relationships. My dad's good friend - his first wife started internet dating (she always was extremely flaky, but a nice woman I'd thought) behind his back on THEIR computer. She ran off with the guy.

In some ways i think that's terrible ... but maybe it's also positive ... are less people are stuck in unhappy relationships because separation or divorce is more societally acceptable?

I also see that as having spinoffs for children. For so long a 'broken home' was viewed so negatively. I've read a lot of material that purports that children do much better where they have two parents civilly living apart than when they have two parents living together with massive tension and anger. The main thing is that they have good parental (or other) role models. It doesn't need to be in a NUCLEAR FAMILY situation.

/end rabble