Hi Soup,
sorry you are feeling so low lately, I hope your mood picks up soon
AS for medication, I tried three different type of anti depressants and two of them made me more sui then ever and the other one made me sick everyday- not a pleasant experience but it is just my experience and they CAN work for others.
I felt nervous and anxious on them and it was scarey how my mood dropped suddenly, they really don't work for me, I try mindfulness and cbt now and that helps and talking helps.