I was peacefully single, doing well at work. I was in great shape physically. I could do anything I wanted: bike, swim for hours. I had decided to go back to school to for a more useful degree (accounting) and get a better job. My parrot was becoming sociable with me again. She was a really hormonal female that wanted to nest all the time. She was hostile toward me for several years. She was my everything. I had also made the decision to rehome my male parrot as both birds hated the other's guts and they were becoming neurotic over the stress. I felt that it was possible to improve my mental health and my life overall.

Then 4 hurricanes came through the area of Florida in which I live. Specifically, the tornados from Hurricane Charlie flattened Punta Gorda where my grandmother lived in a nursing home. Everyone in my family did not want me to retrieve her from the nursing home. There was no electricity or water. it was over 100 degrees. My family said to let the authorities handle the situation. Well, long story short, she died several weeks later. I boarded my birds so that I could go to the funeral in another state. They got sick at the boarding place. Three weeks later, the female parrot, the one that was my everything and that I was going to keep, died. The male is sick with the same disease that killed her. I could no longer rehome him.

Then I was in a car accident that set off a series of physical problems from I am still sufering today, including a botched surgery to fix one of the problems.

Also, a man came back into my life that I had kicked out several months before. I took him back and then he said that he didn't want to marry me because I "just wasn't it".

Obviously I still haven't recovered from all the events of 2004. I've been depressed all my life and was at the end of my rope in 2004. I'm still at the end of my rope. I'm so frightened that I will feel like this for the rest of my life. My life feels like a waste. I'm certainly not enjoying it.