yeah, honesty is a good thing. If your husband is a selfish jerk, you should know it. I don't have much respect for the man. He doesn't understand what marriage is. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Women aren't cake. They are people , with feelings. Sheeesh. Also, a good lawyer could help you get alimony and with custody. You aren't trapped. He would just like you to feel that way.