Bear with me as I try to put thoughts to words here..

I've been wondering how to tell the difference between the secondary ADHD symptoms (such as difficulty with social cues because of attention span/memory) and ASD symptoms. To an outsider they can look quite similar, and it's just confusing me more.

I've had a few therapists basically agree that I'm "likely to be on the autism spectrum" but they weren't able to officially diagnose me because they weren't qualified to evaluate/diagnose. So I've identified as "Autistic" in reference to my disabilities in a general sense. I'm working on getting a referral to a psychiatrist to get an official evaluation for ADHD and Aspergers just to have it concrete and official.

But the more I read about ADHD the more I'm wondering where the line ends for ADHD and where Autism starts. The DSM itself is confusing because technically isn't it saying that ADHD can't be diagnosed alongside a PDD diagnosis? Unless I misread the last criteria.

My main symptoms: Inability to effectively read social cues/body language or express body language correctly/effectively
Sensory processing issues
emotional regulation
Executive functioning
Repetitive movements (aka stims)
Need routines and order to function decently enough...
"Obsessive" interests that consume most casual conversations..

and there were more, but my mind has blanked out...

I think in myself, I'm able to differentiate between what is likely ADHD and what is likely due to autism instead, but it's a muddy line and I'm curious if anyone else has any experience in the two together.

For me, eye contact is threatening, intimidating, and unnatural- more of a PDD related issue.
My inability to effectively read and understand social cues is also more of a PDD issue, because I have trouble emulating them in response too. I'll mistake anger for sadness, sarcasm for anger, etc. I'll laugh in response to something I thought was funny, but wasn't meant to be funny.
I think the ADHD plays a major part in the executive functioning area of it all. My mind is disorganized, my train of thought is all over the place, and so I have a hard time getting started on tasks without a detailed step by step direction.
The sensory issues I'm still of the belief that they're a separate, yet often comorbid and closely related disorder - Sensory Processing (or integration) disorder/dysfunction.

Personally I think it'd be neat to go in depth and figure out which symptom is related to what... But that's me x3 I get obsessively interested in topics like this and it'll be hard for me to "shush".

I'm also very nervous about getting the psychiatrist eval. I'm not sure what to say or bring, I've heard they don't like being told what to look for, but I know that being an adult female traits don't necessarily show typically in comparison to males, for example.

What do you guys think?