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Old Oct 20, 2012, 10:58 PM
Anonymous45023
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44 here too, BlueInanna. But... Agreed with others that some of the questions could be answered affirmatively strictly on account of BP too. Can't leave any off, but how to answer some of them? Like not being clear on what exactly they are asking or if it applies to one's situation. Which, if clarified, could throw the answers in opposite directions. Giving very different resultant scores. Here's one: "One part of me does things while an observing part talks to me about them." If they are talking about a running viciously critical out loud commentary on myself, then yes, I do it in spades. But I don't know if it's a "part of" me. The "whole me" feels that way when it's happening. It's not like one "part" is going on and the other is a separate entity, saying "Hey, wow, that's pretty harsh! Nuh-uh!" Lol.

And yes, everyone does quite a few of them from time to time, but this seems like a given. They say "may be at risk for". That's 2 hedges in 5 words(!) Sounds like, "Yeah, could be... this is the kind of stuff. Do you do a big bunch of it? Might be a problem.", which is kind of weird with them to then tag a quantifier (ie. "severe") onto each category, making it "sound" more conclusive than it is. Haha, haven't slept since Friday morning, drove 350 miles today and am here going all analytical on its a*s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubblemonkey View Post
...I dissociate alot I drift and get buried in confusion I detach but I'm aware of it...
Hmmm. Most of the time I'm not aware of it. At the time anyway. If, say, people were having a big argument that made me really uncomfortable, I'd sure as hell know I was. But, usually otherwise only later. By myself. Like realizing a big chunk of time has passed and not remembering it concretely, but in a fog. But.... there was a big one recently that I had to be told what happened. That was pretty freaky. (It was a trip to the ER. Should've been very memorable. Nope. BF had to tell me the whole thing a couple of days after it happened. But at one point he had gone to get a coffee, so there was something he missed.... A few weeks later at a followup, the doctor said, "well, let's grab the x-ray report." Total incredulity. "I had an X-RAY??!!" She tilted her head quizzically, "Ummmm, ye-ah." (Sure 'nuf. And not somebody else's(!)) BF had mentioned a shot. Being totally needle-phobic, you'd think that would've gotten my attention. Apparently not(!) It's kind of funny now in that "That's crazy! No way!" kind of way, but it was hugely disturbing at the time. Or rather, shortly after the time.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_heart_x View Post
...Sometimes I feel like I'm floating around outside my body. Or sometimes I don't realize how far at a distance I am feeling, then suddenly something will like slam me back into my body.. .
I don't get slammed back, but the floating around outside? Yes. Even exactly how far. Not often, but when it does, it's very distinct and I'm very aware of it (unlike above sorts) because it's damn creepy. I am walking, but I am also walking 3 feet behind myself. Right down the grocery store aisle.... (or wherever, but it's happened twice there).

And yeah, Dan-- In reading their results, they say, "who coped with trauma by using the self-protective defense of dissociation." "Well, duh!", right?!

Also agree with Moose in saying "when you're going through severe stress, that's normal".

Outside of the direct aftermath of the biggie, it doesn't actively bother me to wanting to "do" something about it. It seems "normal" at this point. But the level of corroboration with stress (when one's out of control, so's the other) makes it more like, "Well yeah. Got me though it though, didn't it? How else could I keep functioning?!" It's not on purpose, it's just a "default setting". Meh. <shrug>
Thanks for this!
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