Yeah, I hate it when people are mad at me and then I feel very self destructive. I feel like I.don't deserve to live when I screw up or someone is mad at me. I have alters that come out that want me to do physical harm to myself, but I have a list of other things to do to self sooth instead of harming. Basically I allow myself to do anything except harm myself or others. I do some kooky things sometimes but it works. May angels surround you.