Yikes. I've been there. Loaded trash bags full of my things and drove away about 6 years ago. I didn't realize how miserable and under his control I was until I got out. I was always crying when we were together. After I left , he turned on the crocodile tears. Still says he loves me. I tell him , "Love is as love does." He never loved me. He treated me like dirt. Thatis not love. I'm sorry you are being treated so shabbily. Stay safe. I always wanted our marriage counselor to call him on his s### but after hearing your story, I see why she didn't . May angels surround you.