Quote:
Originally Posted by Starry_Night
Does anyone else react like this?
I really, really hate making people mad, especially if its on accident/ unintentional. I feel horrible inside, and like I'm an awful person, and start thinking that terrible things are going to happen now with that person.
Tonight I had to cancel an interview because my husband decided he didn't want me interviewing with that person (its someone famous who my husband doesn't like.) After thinking about it I didn't really want to work for a famous person anyway so I was having second thoughts about the interview.
Plus a conflict came up with a temp job-- I thought i was supposed to work TUesday til 4, so the interview was scheduled for 4:15. However tonight i found out they want me to work til 5:30, so I would have had to reschedule the interview anyway.
So the person who scheduled the interview got mad and was like, this makes me look bad when you cancel interviews and this is the 2nd time!
i apologized profusely. i really dont want to make them look bad. i don't recall cancelling another interview with them before, but they are most likely correct since I have such a bad memory. 
I'm all worried now that they wont want to work with me or wont want to help me find a job. They keep saying how wonderful I am, and now they are probably thinking I am a PAIN 
i also made my husband mad tonight, but there are lots of times he's mad about something or other
anyway so tonight i have been SI'ing and stuff... and feeling terrible about making someone mad.
how in the world do i get through this?
i miss my T, and i wish so much i could talk to her tonight but i know that she is unavailable this weekend, so i am avoiding even texting her. WHenever she gets mad at me (like for SI'ing or throwing up) I dont worry too much, because i know she won't hate me for it and she will keep on loving me anyway. And she gets over it really quickly. So if she is mad at me, i dont worry about it too much. Its OTHER people! |
Well, for me I guess the key to dealing with other people's anger towards me is understanding that THEY ALONE are responsible for their own emotions, reactions and behavior. (Trust me, it took a long, long time to learn and then trust that!) In the past I definitely would have reacted like you, internalized all the blame, responsbility and perceived 'badness' for it and SI'ed. Nowadays I tend to hand over responsibility to the person involved and let it roll off my back!
So, you cancelled an interview and it was inconvenient for him. Tough luck for him, life is inconvenient sometimes. That he chose to let that inconvenience frustrate and upset him is his deal. Not yours. You were not contracted to have that interview with him and you were free to pull out at any time. That was well within your rights. How he copes with it emotionally is up to him.
And for you... well, you actually haven't done anything wrong or awful or bad or anything, so please don't invest too much time in punishing yourself for it!