I know, but I have a bad tendency to trail off into the most random conversations and avoid the important issues at hand. Inside, I'm afraid to open up, so it's easier to reflect the topic back onto something less intense- But that doesn't work toward solving any of the issues at hand, so I can't let myself really do that for long.

I want to work on stepping stones, baby steps, whatever you call it. Small things I can do to improve my self esteem, gain the ability to trust a bit easier, and handle the anxiety around talking to people face to face. But I don't really know how to give the specifics she asks for.