Regardless of whether or not you feel guilty, I want to warn you. Do not ever believe when someone tells you this sacred phrase: 'this is not your fault'. they never mean that. They always think you're guilty.

My ex friend Magda blames me for the hypothetical sexual abuse of my niece. I don't know my brother's whereabouts or the name of the baby's mother. There's no way of contacting her. But yeah, it's my fault. That accusation hurt me so much I couldn't think clear for some time. It took me some time to realise she used to lie to me: 'it's not your fault' till it finally turned out to be my fault, after ****ing all. If she had told me what she really thinks at the very beginning, it wouldnt have hurt that much. But they always wait and make sure to hurt you really painfully. Never trust such people. Never trust anyone.

I wish her ill, I wish she suffers as much as I did.