Have you tried sitting down with him and coming up with a list of his responsibilities together and perhaps a reward system? I hear a lot of ordering around and punishment mentioned by you, but nothing about catching him doing things correctly. Put his responsibilities and acceptable behavior in writing together, and come up with some rewards together that he might be willing to work toward. You can also come up with some logical consequences for things like backtalking, etc. if you need to, but try to make the system reward-heavy so that it is about doing the right things as opposed to not doing all the wrong things.