Quote:
Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere
The whole purpose of getting touch from the therapist is to help us feel safe and secure in that relationship, so that we can solidify our inner core - of self. We will then know with out a doubt that we have value and worth. And then, and only then can we truly take in and receive what others have to offer us.
It is so healing for me to be held by my therapist to cry or to to be comforted. At the moment their is know one else in my life, and she does that as a part of her job. It works for me, and a lot of others.
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There was a time during my many years in therapy when I completely believed this to be true. I craved touch from my current therapist and thought I could never feel safe, secure, or worthy without it, because I knew how wonderful and caring it had felt to me in the past when I had therapists who met those needs. But I learned much more about myself by working through the feelings of deprivation with him instead of having those needs gratified by him. I discovered that I could indeed feel very safe, secure and worthy in our relationship without touch. And, in fact, I eventually felt and still feel very grateful to him for not meeting that need, because the goal is to develop satisfying and healthy relationships in real life where those needs will be met. I have those relationships now -- I have some great friends and I am loved by a wonderful man who has seen his own share of struggles in life. Having those needs met by my therapist would have felt wonderful at the time, but it would not have been healing. The actual healing has come from the hard work I have done to understand myself and take risks in real life relationships with other people.