i too hate being touched without warning, the other day i clocked my carer when she tried to turn me over whilst i was asleep ! luckily she understood that it was not intentional as i had warned her when she started working for me not to touch me without warning me first.
Although my carer has to touch me to help me dress and bathe, i still cringe every time and freeze when she gets to sorting out my lady bits.
i tend to just tell everyone that i really dont like being touched, if you say it plenty then people eventually get the mesage. i don't give a reason but if people push for one i usually say 'it is just i don't like it, it makes me feel yuck.' that tends to shut them up. the fact i jump every time reinforces that i don't like it.
anyone who contonually pokes or touches me once they know i don't like it is not a true friend so tends to get the cold shoulder from me from then on