Hi Mel, its not in vain, and if it were hopeless,you'd have given up by now. Its ok to get tired and weary, we've all been there at some point. Please keep reaching out, emotional purging is therapeutic. Have youu looked into meditation,or yoga? I hear it is quite helpful, I'm looking to start yoga sometime in the future (no money right now, and DIY, is not for me) I hope that other posters are of more help, my back is killing me, so I'm a bit foggy atm. Sending you lotsa soothing s