It started Friday. I was rear-ended on the way home from work. The car is still driveable, I had some back pain but it went away. The other drive was insured. It should all be okay, but it just put me in a bad head space. Kind of, "I really can't deal with sort of **** right now," space. I was able to rally on Saturday and had a good encounter at work. I left feeling competent.
This morning, I wake up feeling pretty crudy. I think a side effect from a recent flu shot. I check my email. The credit card I've been relying on was cut. My credit limit is now $55 over my balance. This is the credit card that I've relyed on to put gas in my car and food in the house. I called the company and they said they won't raise my credit because my mortgage is too much in ratio to my income. They won't consider the fact that I have a roommate.
I've had this card for over 8 years, over 7 of them I've never carried a balance and just paid it off each month, but now, that things have gotten bad, that my income is minuscule, the mood is a decade long low, they cut my lifeline. I'm looking around the house for what to sell. Trying to avoid heirlooms and things with emotional value, but to me honest, there isn't a lot more that I have. I've always lived modestly.
I just don't know what to do next. Things feel so bleak. I feel so desperate. Everyone keeps saying, "Chin up," and I try to internalize it, I really do, but at every turn I feel defeated. I can't stop blaming myself for how bad life has gotten.