I think that I don't know how old you are. I do not know what is your situation with access to medical care. Maybe I have not read your prior posts carefully enough. Can you visit a doctor on your own? I can tell you that my children's medical records are now, now that they are 12 and 14, hidden from me - I do not have electronic access to them. Until age 12, parents have electronic access. Later on, they do not. Is it just California? It probably does vary by state.

Do you have your own cell phone? Can you make an appointment to see your family physician giving your own cell phone number in case they call you with a courtesy reminder? I imagine that the parents will learn about the appointment when they see the bill, but they will not learn the nature of the issue you discussed with the doctor.

It is very tough, being a kid in your shoes. But what I can tell you for sure is that there is absolutely nothing for you to feel guilty about. It is just a challenging situation. You do not owe anything to anyone at all; you just owe it to yourself to take care of your physical and mental health.

Since you are introspective and analytical, I would recommend that you start monitoring your moods (Optimism Online and Moodtracker.com are good tools for that). When you finally make an appointment to see a doctor, the doctor will be duly impressed, too, when you show a printout of your mood chart.