1/2 hour late for church this morning because I couldn't find my checkbook which had my drivers license in it.....ran up & down the stairs 4 times until I finally found where I had really laid it.

I am forever running back into the house because I can't find something I needed & always end up late for everywhere I go because of something I have misplaced & realize I need & don't have & don't even know where it is.

The worst part of misplacing things is that it's a huge trigger for the trauma I went through with the home care person when my mother was dying of cancer....there were constantly things that came up missing right after I had them or my mother did....from the wedding ring on my mother's finger to her check book I was working on while sitting on the floor when I got distracted to the notes I made on all the strange things that had been going to the missing pill she gave my mother that ended up being an OD on her morphine.....sure glad I didn't bother looking for that one more pill.

I have also lost brand new prescription sun glasses I had just bought which I ended up finding 6 months later in the refrigerator....in the box of shots I had bought that day for our dogs......the box of shots had one of those perforated lids that opened up, ate my sunglasses......then sat there digesting them for the whole 6 montls staying cool in the refrig.

I have been absent minded forever & could never remember things. My Calif pdoc before I left there had started me taking the Omega 3 EPA for my depression (which worked wonders for me for depression).....the awesome side effect was that I got involved with the library book club after first leaving my husband & moving 2100 miles away......but I could read & remember what I read & I could even carry on an intelligent conversation & remember what I was wanting to say. I know that part of that was that my mind was free from all the anger & fighting it had been doing for 33 years......a free & clear mind really helps.....but heaven knows how many stresses with the IRS & now with the foreclosure on the house I'm in with him in Ca......& finally the divorce.....my head gets so full & exhausted feeling & when I can't sleep if makes remembering things even worse.

I have one of those day timer calendars that I also put the finance papers in from several years ago so I can keep track of my spending on a daily basis on top of my mothly budgeting......or I would forget what I spent & where & couldn't figure out why my account was negative.

My grandmother had alzheimers....but I know that I am nothing like she was even at my age, there were signs.....I know that my mother must have had a stroke when she had the blood clots in her legs & that is what had made her fall that one night.....because it was right after that, when she could no longer figure out how to make change for $100 & she had worked in a bank for years....& she blamed me for confusing her when I tried to help her figure it out......& my mare had just had her baby foal....& my mother couldn't remember what a baby horse was called in the sunday paper game section......I knew it wasn't her old age not her chronic illness that her onclogist suggested.....that wouldn't have come on so suddenly over one weekend like it had. Ah, the mind is a complicated thing.