oh yes I remember about your parrot. It's so hard as pet owners because they are totally dependent on us and if something goes wrong we beat ourselves up about it. I don't have a lot of close friends or family so my pets are also everything to me. I can't remember if I've told you this before but when one of my bunnies stopped eating I took her to this vet and I didn't know he didn't really know what he was doing and he told me to forcefeed her. He didn't give me a lot of instructions on how to do it. It was so stressful. I later found out his forcefeeding schedule was way too aggressive and dangerous. She died in my arms during it. I was absolutely devastated and felt so guilty for years and it affected my life terribly. I finally talked with a pet loss counselor and that helped me so much. Do you think that might help you?