Hi katie, welcome to PC. What you described sounds very much like BPD to me. If you have looked at the thread on You Might Be BPD If and BPD Symptoms, they should give some insight. There is also The National Alliance on BPD that has some good resources. I'm really sorry for the pain you are experiencing and I hope you feel better soon. One symptom that some people with BPD present with is the fear of abandonment and that sounds like what happened to you with the baby coming. You had the fear of losing you're emotional support and it affected you so bad you started to nose dive, and then when the baby came it just got worse. DBT should help you out greatly if you put the time and effort into it that you deserve. It will help you rely on yourself for the emotional support and to help you manage the mood swings that can cause someone with BPD such pain. I hope some of this has helped.