He sounds a bit like my son. I can understand why you're exhausted.

At least I can go to work and get some respite from it. Also, my son does go out some times. He goes through periods where it's difficult for him, but he does make himself go out.

Are you living together? Maybe he should get his own place? You seriously need a break from this and to be around other people who fill you up instead of draining you all the time. I know it's easy to say and hard to do when you have a needy loved one, but if you break down you'll be no good to him, to yourself, or to your son.

Does he have a talk therapist? There are cognitive behavioral approaches to OCD that might be helpful in addition to the meds (which you say aren't helping anyway).

There are out-patient type programs available. And I know my son was involved - briefly - in a DBT program through the mental health center. I don't know much about it, but I believe it involved a group or class type setting for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. (I could be wrong about that.)

Another time he attended an out-patient program from a hospital. They sent a bus out for him in the morning and returned him in the afternoon. Unfortunately he quickly dropped out of that.

Right now he's regularly going to a peer support type group which is open from noon to 5 Monday through Friday. They have a few structured activities during that time period - a wellness support group, arts and crafts, etc., but mostly it's a place to hang out with other people struggling with similar issues and to socialize.