Quote:
Originally Posted by poptart316
Hi, I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bi polar, social anxiety, and intermittent explosive disorder... but I'm starting to wonder if I have something else? Like DID or schizophrenia or something.
possible trigger for sex..
I'm very confused about my identity, I'm not sure who I am or what I want.. I mean I kind of know, but then sometimes I want different things at different times... but I try to stay focused on what I'm doing now, what I feel like I need and is good for me, goals I've set.. ect. But sometimes I'll react in a way that I think someone else would react.. like say something in the way they would say it and their mannerisms.. ect. But I'll do it as if it was ME saying it and sometimes I don't notice, but I've been catching myself doing a lot lately... and I act like people I find really charming or interesting in some way.. most of the time it's guys I've dated, but not always.... and it's like I act like these people in response to different situations, like sometimes I'll be the "music nerd" and other times.. I'll be "responsible"... it's like I go around and decide to adopt other people traits. It's like some Norman Bates *****!!!
I also have a whole other "delusional world" that's kind of always in the background but I ignore it but all it takes is a trigger and there a certain triggers that make me go psychotic and it's like being in another world where everything is just wrong and I'm so scared and think people want to hurt me. It's like my brain created this whole other delusional world to protect me from rejection/pain.. it made all these associations through experiences.. it's like a chain and my brain has added all these links and it seems like I've avoiding a lot of situations/experiences/people/places because I'm so afraid of triggers and falling into psychosis... I'm afraid to date now, because it seems I go nuts when I get attached (do the black & white, idealization and **** of BPD) and then when I break-up I go psychotic... I'll talk to my ex or someone who reminds me of my ex, I go psychotic. I'm starting to think I'll never be able to love.. I'll never be able to really trust anyone or connect with them... I'm starting to think I'll never be able to be stable enough to have a normal life and I'm just gonna live in fear all the time and will have to go into a group home and I don't want that!!
|
Im sorry we cant tell you whether you have DID. Doing that is called making a diagnosis and we are not allowed to do that here.
What I can tell you is that what you have posted does fit in with what you have been diagnosed. borderline personality disorder dies carry symptoms of identity issues such as you posted, as does many other mental disorders and physical problems, the mental disorders you posted you are diagnosed with do have the symptoms of being psychotic, delusional,paranoia of thinking people are out to get you and all that other stuff you posted.
DID isnt about being paranoid, delusional, psychotic. or feeling like you dont know who you are and what you want to be type identity issues.
here where I live and work DID is where you have alters that take control of the body and live a completely separate life that is their own job, purpose, reason for being.to show you what I mean Im going to use an example from one of my sexually active alters.
for example I (amanda) would stay home study, I am also a lesbian where as my alter Donna would rather be out partying and would sleep with what ever abusive guy she could. we were two separate identities with in one body with no shared memories, no shared preferences, completely separate lives. its like if you and your worst enemy in school (you know that girl or guy you would love to have slapped, or told to go to heck in school because they were such jerks?) well imagine you and that person that is so different from you that you couldnt stand in high school had to share the same body and you want to stay home, watch that good movie on tv, but this other person in your body pushes you out of the way, and goes to the basketball game, and has sex behind the bleachers, you cant stop this from happening, most times you dont even know its happening until you sort of wake up and instead of watching tv you are behind the bleachers..
thats what being DID ishere where I live and wirk in New York USA, like you have two or more alters constantly taking over control and living out their own lives that is different from what your life is.
heres where you can find more information about what DID is here in the USA..it will bring you to a page that is the new diagnostics that the USA will soon be using but .if you click on the tab that says DSM IV thats the present standard/ diagnostic criteria.
http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision...on.aspx?rid=57
again we cant diagnose you (tell you whether you have DID) for that you will need to contact your own doctors, therapists and psychiatrists that you see for your mental disorders and physical problems.