Hello & Welcome, Pickle 101!
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I’ve tried compassion and love, I’ve tried logic and reasoning. More and more i am resorting to plain ol’ anger or verbal abuse. ...I am at my wit’s end.
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You are certainly at your wits' end, and lashing out in anger will damage you over time.
Even if she is your mother, you have a need and right to self-care.
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I’ve thought of at least telling my family doctor all of this a couple of times, but haven’t acted on it, as it is after all an intrusion deep within her being, and i am sure she would resent it.
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Your concern over her probable reaction to a caring, rational act indicates your emotional boundary strength towards your mother is weak. Strengthening your personal boundaries may be a first step, and you may need help doing that.
Please keep posting.
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.