It has been a while since I have been on. I have been trying to keep busy. I feel like that doesn't even work though. I fee lke I am just covering up what will eventually come out anyway. I cannot escape it. It is my life. Sadness all the time. I wish it wasn't like this but it is me. I feel like I shouldn't even right. it doesn't help anyways. I mean the input people give me is good but I don't feel like anything is off my chest. Everything will be there forever.