I used to feel like my abuse didn't count because it wasn't sexual. But I know that's not true. The aftereffects of the emotional and verbal abuse were also more painful and longer-lasting than the physical abuse, where, for example, my head would be pounded against the concrete when my father got mad. And the neglect did a number too.

I wouldn't be surprised if I had PTSD, because the emotional abuse was so relentless, and my siblings joined in. They don't now, except one who just has a very cruel side. No, now, they think I'm great, and they are decent people.

But my father is still abusive. I try to remember that he's the one with the real problem and to disengage, walk away, and to not try to justify myself, when I have nothing to apologize about to him for. (It is extremely the opposite).

I really don't know if one ever gets over the pain of emotional abuse. For me the pain used to be overwhelming at times... it has lessened a lot as I've gotten older.

One thing I hate though is the conditioned reactions that kind of abuse left me. I have worked to change them. It isn't easy. I've had some success but I will probably be working on it the rest of my life.

One thing I've found helpful is to keep a list on my computer of pointers, quotes, and notes that I come across in life or from reading. I add to it regularly, then read it from time to time or whenever I need to. It helps remind me of ways to cope, how my thinking may be wrong in some area, or just about things, about life, or emotional skills that I wasn't taught growing up.