Sweet Rhapsody... your post has really struck a nerve with me.

I'm so so sorry for the hurt and violation you went through. My heart is with you.

I think there are as many shades of blue as there are reasons that some men abuse women. Some have been abused themselves as children, some are psycho-paths and some just lack empathy for females-- and also, society may help give some ideas.

I realize this sounds bad... but.... If there was just one place where men experienced abuse in some physical way(without pleasure) and were used, by women----- like we are at strip clubs and brothels--- I'm positive that they would then see how degrading it actually is to the human psyche.(not that I would want anyone to be abused and experience such things that many women have lived through for centuries... just that some men won't understand degradation unless there's a possibility that it could happen to them-- not every one is like that-- but some are)

Did you know there is documentation from around 3500 BC that shows-- women were highly valued-- they were land owners, they were worshiped, held high government postions and it was a deadly offense to rape a woman?

I think it's misguided that many females today have the idea in accepting porn as "men just being men". Those women are giving men the message that it's OK to see any woman as an object of their pleasure-- IMO. It just adds wood to the fire-- my opinion again of course.

Do you think that maybe if women-- as a whole group-- stop accepting it as "normal" or "not that bad" -- that it would get many men that don't understand, to think about how it feels for another person to be objectified/degraded? Maybe -- as a group, we are too silent?
Throughout history....... if the group being held down doesn't voice their discontent........ then there is no change.

GEE--- I sure hope you don't mind me on my soapbox! This subject really gets to me!!

For the record.... I DON"T hate men. I believe men have many very wonderful qualities and that it is possible that together, the two genders can make a truly great partnership. I love the idea of masculinity-- the power to protect fiercely and yet to love tenderly with empathy-- that's a REAL man. (my opinion again)

mandy (Rhap--I apologize if I was out-of-line anywhere or if you felt I was off-topic.)

To Rhapsody and all the REAL men--