Thanks ya'll... my father passed away 6 years ago and when he did I was actually feeling quite indifferent towards him and I have been working more on my "mom-issues" in therapy since I do see her fairly regularly.

My dad was taken from his alcoholic parnents, his mother also was a prostitute... and he was placed in a childrens home, which back then was alot like "Orphan Annie" type homes. I do think his military training was the only structure he ever truly knew and he fell back on that when it came to running his household.

I have alot of healing to do; there seems to be so much from my childhood to face up to that it does get overwhelming st times. I have to take it one step at a time.. one thing at a time.