Hi Checkers I am not going to smack you nor shame you for what I feel as very normal human feelings. I know it is NOT easy but I hope you keep away from the potential girlfriend and see her only on the job for now, and maybe run with the wife do not walk to see a T on the subject of your sex drives not matching pre-pregnancy and more so now. I would save the revelation on the desire for the other woman on both levels for a private session with the T so your wife isn't hit with that part at this time. I really wish you luck with this you seem like a good guy who feels bad over unmet needs
Safe hugs