Starting about a week ago i started to feel blah after months of being happy and problem free. Super tired i stayed home wednesday and slept in. I woke up very refreshed and energized so i assumed i simply needed sleep. Friday night i got pissed with bf and then again later with my mom. Both are normal and once im over it then its left in the past forgotten. Saturday i became pretty down and depressed which only increased sunday. For the first time ever i had started thinking about hurting myself. I do burn but just for the bliss it brings me. I had never thought about suicide and i still dont but i do feel like hurting myself and self medicating. I know i shouldnt and i dont feel i would do anything but the thought alone scares me. My sleep is certianly messed up and this morning i couldnt bring myself to go to school even though i have a very important test. I dont want to go tomorrow or any other day. I love my school and really want to finish so this isnt like me. Even when something makes me smile i just start crying for no reason and im not big on crying. I have an appointment with my T next monday but wonder if i should go see her as soon as i can. Im use to depression but this is different and a little frightening. I really just needed to get that off my chest but any support or advice would be greatly appreciated.