I know PMS is real. And you described it in your seasons very well. I am still digging for what it is that causes my life to be so out of control sometimes and I keep coming back to PMS. It seems more severe as I get older. I have been on anti depressants and they don't seem to affect the fall and winter season. Just kinda make my other seasons more elated. Which caused me to think I was bi polar. Now I am tryng antidepressants and birth control without stopping for the period part. Skipping the non balancing hormone pills. I am not sure what is working. I have only been doing it for a month and a half now. The plan is to eliminate the imbalances brought on by ovulation. The nurse pract. told me there is such a thing as premetapause and that some experience it with worse symtoms than others. I am not at metapause yet but in 4 or 5 years will be. I really worry if this is this hard before metapause what will metapause be like. She assured me that there are also differing degrees of symptoms for women in metapause. My negative mindset has me already doomed before the time begins.