Hi Evangelista,

Emotions are a hard thing for me to grasp. In real life, I hardly speak out loud or show emotions because I am so busy reading body language and trying to figure out what can be said safely. I have found though that oftentimes, the body will react to the body language of another without me being aware until afterward.

For me, online, it's even harder. So many times I write a response only to close out without submitting or hitting delete after submitting it because there is no body language online and it's too scary for me.

I cannot cry even in private. I have tried, but while a tear might well up in my eye, it never will fall and it is almost like there is this immediate pull back from inside and all that is left is that dried up tear and numbness (Or I end up someplace else later on because of dissociation).

I don't think I said much of anything here, sorry. I just struggle with emotions, online and irl.

I totally understand hiding. It's what I do best.

My T gave me some paperwork that shows the physical aspect of how to tell which emotion is which and I am trying to learn through that. It's hard.

Hope that didn't confuse more than help. Good luck on your journey.