Hi Brindle. It sounds like you went through some really tough stuff when you were young and from what I've read, that stuff can really affect you for a long time. But if we learn to manage our bad experiences, we can start to let them go and let that pain stay in the past.

Shezbut wrote: "That means medications, regular therapy, group therapy, and occasional hospitalizations."

These are all the options when dealing with mental health, but not everyone needs all of these services. It really depends on your situation. I think you sound like you have panic attacks. It would really help you to find a therapist and start seeing him/her regularly, like once or twice a week. He/she could help you find exactly what services you will need and explain why. When you go find someone, make sure to ask all the questions about therapists and psychiatrists that you want to know. If you're informed and know what you are doing and why, it will have a much better effect on you.

I'm sorry that those girls were mean to you when you were younger. I don't know why kids pick on each other and its a horrific thing to go through. I'm glad you have friends now and they hopefully understand who you really are and how much you have to offer.

Much love and good luck