Hello,

I'm new here and not sure if this is the right forum, but it doesn't seem to fit anywhere else.

To give a little history, I suffer from severe GAD/panic and am bipolar NOS.

I had been with my psychiatric nurse practitioner for seven years. Six of those years were fairly good. She has a bulldozer of a personality but did offer me some good gems of advice and kept me mostly stable with some pitfalls of course (I've just accepted that my life will never be anxiety-free). She did have this habit of throwing out nonsense theories though when questioned. Also, after seeing how sensitive I am to meds, she was extremely reluctant to ever try anything new with me.

I had a bad relapse of panic and GAD this year after about seven years of minimal panic and moderate GAD. It was obvious that not only had her caseload increased and she was very rushed, but she was frustrated with me because I'd slipped back down the rabbit hole. I think she just didn't know what to do with me anymore because I'm not your easy patient that you can toss a script for Paxil to and rush out the door. I just sensed a change in her personality and didn't want to go back.

Needless to say, I managed to find a new nurse practitioner and met with her last week. She was amazing. She spent an hour and a half with me taking careful notes and getting all of my history and was very caring. She was also conservative in her approach with me, which is something I look for. My gut feeling was a very positive one, and my gut is usually right about these sorts of things.

Here's my fear - we discussed a transfer of records, but I can't remember if I signed the form to transfer them. And if I didn't this time, she may ask me to do it next time.

I really just want to start over and not have her mind poisoned by my previous n/p's crazy theories (example: she thinks my current relapse is the result of my putting my dog down over two years ago. I know you guys don't know the whole story, but I can guarantee you that as much as I loved my dog, I am not having anxiety over that) and frustration with me. I am sure she wrote in her notes how difficult I was to treat and that I wasn't following her advice about going out and pushing through panic and anxiety no matter what. The woman admitted she'd never had an attack and her compassion level was always pretty low.

I guess I'm just looking for people who have had similar experiences and advice on what to do if my current n/p has not yet asked for the old one's records. If I go to my follow-up and find she hasn't gotten the records and asks me to sign a release, what can I do?

And if she already has those records, how can I get her to see that my old n/p's impression of me was not always accurate? The woman wasn't my therapist. She acted like she had me figured out and that was *far* from the truth.

Thanks for reading this. I know it's long.