Rose, everything you have mentioned is very do-able and reasonable. Actually everything you mentioned is what "reasonable adults" would naturally do.

I can say that AJ cleans upstairs and he does his own laundry. The only thing I've continued to do is cook. I don't mind cooking as it gives me something to do. But I do mind cooking when folks feel the need to yell at me.. Bottom line is, don't mess with the cook...

AS for the renter.... I can now say that I respectfully let the renter cook his own meals and wash his dishes. He was very surprised when breakfast wasn't waiting for him on Monday. He again was surprised dinner wasn't waiting for him. He is a bit resistant with washing his dishes. He will wash some but not all what he is used. SO I just put them in the dish pan under the sink "so I don't have to see them" and waiting for him to wash them.. I think he is getting the point loud and clear. He is on his own with his meals. I make sure there isn't any leftovers which would make it too easy for him just to warm up....

Guess we will have to see how things go...

thanks... great advice too