I think your T has a good idea Finding out your need to confront makes all the difference. Many ppl confront to make the abuser "own up to" it...and sadly, the usual response is denial and "I have no idea what you are talking about." That leaves the patient in a worse place than they were before.

IMO, no confrontation should take place until the person has worked thoroughly through the abuse with a T, and feels that nothing else is needed for healing. The confrontation then takes on the attitude of, this is what you did to me, I know it, you know it, but I have survived...anyway! TC!