What I see here is your experience being negated. The Book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my mind and life. People typically say....it was a joke, I didn't mean it, get over it, you are too sensitive/overreacting.

our feelings are facts, they are not right or wrong, they simply ARE.

ALL ignorant (ignorant meaning not understanding) sayings....... We all; want to be validated and heard. We don't need it explained away, etc......we simply want to hear: I am sorry that hurt.