I'm in constant pain, mainly my foot, but also severe TMJ. I have a fallen arch, plantar fascitis and tendonitis in my right foot. It is agonizing. My jaw will hurt so bad sometimes that I literally cannot eat anything hard. I have to work my jaw out in the morning because it will be so tightened up that I can hardly open it. But the pain meds weren't just for that. I loved the way they made me feel. For a little while my depression turned into euphoria. And the booze made me giddy, everything was fun. It's pretty bad when you have to crawl up your stairs because you can't walk. Literally, cannot stand up. I don't always go to AA meetings like I should, but I do occasionally and I have a pretty good support network. That doesn't mean that I don't think about it all the freaking time though. I have dreams where I'm guzzling as much as I can. But like they say in AA, take everything day to day.