Sila,
Hey. Sorry to hear this is happening to you. I had an abusive situation come up 20 years + ago. I am just now working on it. It is difficult and night time is so much worse. I guess there is so much to take your mind off of things in the day. Night time is dark and lonely. I wish you the best. Find a T you like and eventually you'll built some trust.
It is hard for some of us to trust and risk being hurt. It's difficult for us to talk about the past but it does get better. I have a long way to go. You have a long way to go to. We can help each other. Thinkgoodness we all have good friends here at PC. I personally don't know what I would do w/ out everyone.